YuGiOh! GX fanfics: The condensed version
by Huasen-Butter
Summary: Short crack fics created from the worst of the worst out there. Only difference is that I'm making them even worse. Judge for yourself the mentality of human beings and my own sanity! Bring your own popcorn though. WILL BE EDITED SOON
1. Asuka saves the Supreme King!

Haou looked around, observing the dreary landscape. Standing in front of him looking thoroughly confused and wearing a skirt was none other than Queen of Obelisk Blue, or Asuka for short.

She stared at Haou, wondering why Judai was wearing that weird armor, holding a buzzsaw and had glowing yellow eyes. Then she remembered something VERY important.

Judai had sacrificed her along with her friends and her brother in that duel against Brron.

So, why was she still alive?

Asuka was so caught up in her own thoughts about how confusing everything was and why she wasn't furious at Judai for letting them die that she didn't realize that Haou was waiting for her to speak until he coughed.

Haou glared at her, making Asuka cringe from the pressure of those super sexy eyes.

Before she open her mouth to ask why he wasn't speaking, he cut her off.

"Look, can we just skip the pages of dialogue and get right to the rape?"

* * *

I'm bored. I came to FFnet for cheap laughs because the Charles Darwin website was boring me.


	2. Zane screws Syrus!

"Za-Zane! That feels so good!" Syrus moaned.

Zane smirked and whispered into his ear, "You wanna kick it up a notch?"

"Ye-Yes! Please! I need you inside of me!" whined Syrus like a prostitute.

Zane grinned like the sex deprived fiend that he was and yanked off Syrus's pants.

He smirked, it wasn't just him: everything was completely in proportion according to height.

Although the more he stared at it, the more he thought he was looking at a nailess thumb and NOT a sex organ.

He flipped Syrus over onto his stomach and tore off his own pants. Zane was so impatient and filled with hormones that he immediately tried to ram into Syrus.

"OW!" Syrus cried in pain and immediately started crying like the blubbering sap that he is.

_What the hell? It doesn't fit!_

Unfortunately as everything was in proportion to height, it meant that Zane screwing Syrus was about as possible as Santa Claus trying to stuff himself down the chimney of a doll house.

* * *

Incest~Doesn't it make you feel all warm and tingly inside? It's just like Christmas!


	3. Spiritshipping Spawns!

"Owowow! My gut's killing me!"

Judai rolled around on the liquid soaked bed. He smelled of hard core sex. And whipped cream.

Johan looked over in concern. "What's wrong my sweet angle? Don't tell me that I overdid it with the ice cubes last night!"

Judai sat up and shook his head. "No it's not that my darling hypotenuse. If anything it was probably the chocolate."

Johan looked even more worried. "Maybe we should get you to a doctor."

**One short Trip to the Doctor l8er…Oh yeah: SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!LULZ**

Johan grasped Judai's hand tightly. Was Judai pregnant? He briefly fantasized about mini Judai and Johan clones running around the house while dueling. His fantasy was cut short as the doctor walked back in.

"Well, it seems that you…"  
Judai gulped and Johan grabbed his hand even tighter.

"…have a kidney infection."

Judai gasped and Johan just stared.

"Now see that only problem is-"

The doctor was cut off by an intensely sobbing Judai.

"I don't want to die!" he wailed and blubbered as Johan tried to comfort him.

"Don't worry Judai. If you die, then I'll suicide so that I can join you!" he said.

"Re-really? I LURVS YOUR JOHAN!"

"NO! I LURVS YOU MORE!"

The doctor cut into their love fest. "Excuse me, but you aren't going to die. It's just that your health insu-"

He was once again cut off by Judai who had an epiphany.

"I know! I'll have a sex change operation so that our few moments together will our best!"

Johan grinned widely. Better sex was alright with him!

The poor doctor tried once again to explain to them the situation. "Your insurance can't cover it! It's very costly and why would you want a sex change operation?"

"So Johan has more holes to ram me in!' Judai declared.

"Yes!" Johan agreed, "So let's get that operation for you right now! What do ya say Doc?...Huh? Doctor?"

Unbeknownst to either of them, the doctor had opened up a window and jumped through it to save himself from these two morons. Luckily, the 30 foot drop killed him instantly.

R.I.P. Doctor Calm Awn Sense

1972-2010

* * *

What? What were you expecting? 8)


	4. Horror Movie Xover!

**For Ages 18 and over.**

**This fall...Get ready...**

_Alexis runs into a forest with a flashlight clutched tightly in her hand. She nervously turns around before suddenly screaming._

**Don't look back...**

_Chazz runs down the hallway of the Obelisk dorm, jiggling the doorknob and trying to get into one of the bedrooms. He fails and tries it again with the other doorknobs._

"Who the hell keeps locking all these doors?"

**He's coming to get you...**

_A tall figure rises from the Duel Academy lake, wielding a chainsaw and wearing a hockey mask._

**Or you just might be DEAD...**

_The figure chainsaws Syrus into halves. Blood gushes out like a public school fountain._

**Friday the Thirteenth GX: Coming soon to a theater near you.**

**In IMAX and 3-D.**

**Don't watch it.**

**

* * *

**-Facepalm-

Some ideas just work better in my mind.

This one, in my opinion really sucked.

Therefore it was good (I think?).

Next chapter is the start of a mini series called, "Where Are They Now? The Yubel Edition."

Cuz Yubel needs moar luv.

In fact, I dare anyone who reads this fic to write a threesome between Yubel, Judai & Johan (that makes sense).

A (fortune) cookie to anyone who does (whatever the hell that is).


	5. Seemingly Sexy Symphony

It was a bright sunny day at Duel Academia. The sky was blue, the ocean was blue & Johan Andersen's hair was blue. Said hunky Norwegian was strolling down the path to the Osiris Red Dorm where his koi was. Suddenly, Johan heard a noise. He ignored it completely & continued on his quest for sex.

Then when he arrived outside of Judai's room, he heard more noises. They got louder & louder, creating a bizarre cacophony of what sounded like mewls & whimpers. There were also squeaks & gasps mixed in. Johan was confused by the strange sounds until he had an epiphany:

_Oh My Ra, is my dear Judai masturbating in his room to me? I have to cure his horniness!_

Johan Andersen suddenly charged in through the door & ripped off his frilly lavender shirt, exposing his gloriously manly chest to the world, only to freeze in shock at the rather disturbing sight in front of him.

"Johan, look! Pharoah's a father of five!"

* * *

Please tell me that I'm not the only that thinks that the sound effects used in bad smut sounds like a bunch of giggling kittens. -_-"

(I'm back temporarily~)

[Does anyone know where to find that fanart of Juudai accidentally drawing an Ace of hearts instead of an E-hero during his duel against Yugi?]


End file.
